Architecture Challenge - Fun, but BORING Event Space Needs a Facade Design to Make it Feel EPIC

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This customer received 17 illustration designs from 5 designers. They chose this illustration design from ioio as the winning design.
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I am looking for a concept design for a flat facade design (think: plywood facade with screws, nuts/bolts, or a 3-dimensional, easily-implemented facade with no function, but looks amazing) to hide how ugly this building truly is! Ideally, it will be something that can be attached to the existing structure, with screws or lightweight construction, to make it look great from the street, as an event or retreat venue. This building is in a great location but so ugly! It's over 3,000 sq ft (280 sq meters), with seven parking spots on the ground level. It's basically a large rectangle. You don't have to be an architect, but if you can convince me that your design can be built and make people feel like this building is truly transformed into an event space (weddings, birthday parties, business meetings), I will not only choose you but invite you to see it in person when it's built.
Target Market(s)
Wedding planners, event planners, vacation groups, retreat planners, bachelor/bachelorette (hen parties), corporate groups/retreats, parties
Industry/Entity Type
Event hosting
Font styles to use
Look and feel
Each slider illustrates characteristics of the customer's brand and the style your logo design should communicate.
Elegant
Bold
Playful
Serious
Traditional
Modern
Personable
Professional
Feminine
Masculine
Colorful
Conservative
Economical
Upmarket
Requirements
Must have
- A design that can literally be bolted onto the building to make it seem cool.
Nice to have
- The building is in California, so there's surf, sand, and beach BUT I actually thing it would be powerful to transport people to great design elsewhere. Options are: Hollywood, Mexico, Spain, Greece, Croatia, and a whole lot more! Feel free to transport us!
Should not have
- Changing the interior architecture. This is a facade challenge.