Hi, please give constructive feedback on design #29689721 and reason for elimination.

Feedback for my design sir

Hi There,
I have submitted one concept with 2 entries. Maybe you are taking more time to choose a suitable design for your brand. I want to ask you to give me your feedback on my entries. so I can make it more relevant. like you like something in my concept entries and want me to do a few modifications. I will be happy to do that. or making an entirely new concept if you want me to work for you.
My entries: #29669177 and #29684608
Thanks and Regards
Manish Kumar